The Mind of a Genius

  Oh, hey guys. Haven’t checked in a while. I was busy with almost everything here that I didn’t even try to reconnect with my blog. WTH. Anyways, here’s a preview of what’s to come.

LLLLLOOOOAAAADDDDIIIINNNGGGG PPPPPPAAAAAAGGGGGGEEEEEEE.

Okay, that was a little anticlimactic. But sad to say, the "Net", or the connection to our lovely earthquake ridden region of South East Asia is still not at full speed. Some providers are still working on it, so for the meantime, enjoy that Minesweeper while you can. *Wink*

Not to be pessimistic, but so does the story of my life goes. I’m running in a humdrum at this moment, probably from the past. But I can’t blame that on anything but me, right? So we’ll just have to skip past that. Anyways, there’s three things that I am currently doing right now, so excuse me while I dance to the tune of Taktak. Lol.

First, my G-Seed Destiny Mobile suit collection. High-grade, of course. I have so much to learn, sadly, as seeing the very adventurous works of some modellers, almost bringing it to an artform. But for now, let’s focus on mine. *Snicker*

The first on my list is the Destiny Gundam, piloted by the psychotic mess of a Gundam pilot, Shinn Asuka. It’s not something to be sneered at, thank you very much. It’s well made, apart from some parts that are missing color, and the beautiful part is the "Hikari no Tsubasa" beam trails. It’s a majesty when put into place. Couple that with almost 40 points of articulation, and of course, I have died and gone to C.E. heaven, only to be shot down back here. Toinks.

The next one here is the Gaia gundam, something that I hold in high esteem as one of the more powerful non-Nuclear mobile suits in the series, apart from the Akatsuki and the Destroy. (What, with it being the only Millenium series suit to have survived with at least three, count them, three battles in its record!) Compared to the Destiny, it almost has no color missing, although asides from the shield which could be hidden in view.

It’s very fragile, though, and even if it can transform into a T-type BuCUE, you can’t help but feel cheated upon when you learn that you have to change its hands to wolf claws. But given the circumstances, it’s better than the Abyss.

Back to me, then. I have already stopped playing MMOs for quite a while; I do have to move to an outer realm called Sta. Rosa in February. Not that I like it, but it has to be done. Although given the chance, I might manage a PC shop there when I finish my 2-year course in three years. @_@

And oh, yes, guys, I still don’t believe in love, AKA Girlfriend. And I’m not a "fruit". Never will be. Hehehehe…

So see you guys again. Probably.

Hahaha! At last the next outing for Rockstar games is out! Bully is another freeform game from the makers of Grand Theft Auto, Manhunt, and Table Tennis. (Wahaha Irony!) The same no-sense humor, the I-Can-Go-Wherever-I-Want craziness, and the uber-cool (and evil, if that’s what you desire) anti-hero is still here. No cars, though. What you have are all campus based. Those bitches that designate what’s hot and what’s cool. The bullies and their posse who thinks they can take on you because of his backup. The nerds that keep grating your nerves with their Lord-O’-The-Rings idiocy. You’re there to beat them all up into no-frills sense.

Heck, that’s the thing Rockstar Games are good at. The seemingly disturbing truth turned into a seemingly disturbing game, that’s both unacceptable to the masses (because it’s true, and they always wash their hands of them.), and acceptable to gamers! In this case, the undeniable truth of Academic Cannibalism in the school system, where they judge by how you perform in their standard, and not them discovering WHAT you can really do. Bully couldn’t have come at a better time!

Bully is due October of this year, for the PS2 (and hopefully, the PC). Be sure to get this gem!

Well, since I raised the point of Gundam Seed Destiny being less than its stellar counterpart, I will start on some things that I’ve observed on the show. (At least to its 35th episode.)

1. Well, they’re not thinner, that’s a clear picture. However, some scenes from the first GS (which also irritated my BTW) were recycled to the new show. Bad form. Also, sometimes, we get messy drawings on both part of Athrun and Shinn. I can clearly remember two episodes ago that Shinn had the awful god-forsaken hair anyone has ever seen T T. -2 points again.

2. Why the hell should they put the Destroy gundam there? Just ugly. If they want a torture machine of that sort, they could’ve at least borrowed an idea from an older Gundam series. (G). Attach Stellar to it. Then make her feel every pain the mobile suit has. A better plot device. (And would’ve made Shinn kill her instead of Kira, therefore adding to his guilt-trip herherher…)

3. Even though it’s not true for some, Lunamaria IS a fanservice character. They could’ve at least made her a better pilot than what she already is. Stellar was far better than her, and even much better than Rey Za Burrell.

4. How could have they known the name of the Destroy? (the Minerva crew) I could’ve sweared that Destroy was a secret of the LOGOS, and was only released on that day the released Stellar. Ooh, plot hole.

5. It was unclear as to whom we should focus the story to. GS was easy, put the two perspectives of the characters in the story (I rooted for Kira on this one.) and make it roll. However, Shinn never really played any major role in the Second Battle of Yachin Due. He could’ve at least directed his decisions towards the shift of the battle. (Which the two main characters did again, BTW.)

But even though it was with flaws and all, I still continue to watch this. I’d rather watch this, because the show really DO raise good points. Who was the enemy? Was it whom your country asked you to fight? And about genetic manipulation… it’s a matter of time before it truly does happen. I will continue to watch GSD, onto the next Gundam Seed series (and I do hope someone dies in a good way, hmm… try Athrun)

*Was hit by a barrage of stones*

—-

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m not so sure anymore. But one thing is for certain… I’m getting cold.

My manga project almost stopped dead in its tracks. Before, I could type at least 2 pages per day, and have at least a new idea for it. Now… let’s just say I’m getting better than at least the head writer of Gundam Seed Destiny (which is, at this moment, is 3-4 notches lower than its predecessor, Gundam Seed).

Maybe I wasn’t just keeping my head on. There’s too much distractions, infractions, and broken wrists (that I really have ^ ^) to make me surge forward. And that sucks, because I had already promised myself that I won’t fail again. Damn, I’m running around like a headless chicken.

I would take two days off, but what I need now is not a vacation, but an inspiration. Hey, maybe that’s it… I might need an inspiration. (Which in my former college, had plenty of…)

Don’t worry guys. I’m just setting up myself in place. In time, we’ll see each other again. And this time, (I hate to write this up), we’ll see the better part of me. ^ ^.

So just pray for me, at least. You’ll all be in my mind. Pishawt.

(Again, sa mga nagaakalang kinupit ko ang journal na ito sa kung sino-sino, no way dudes. Ako ang nagsulat nito.)

18 years. 216 months. Approximately 6,480 days. That’s how long I have been in this earth. It was the night of February 26, that started it all. I was born under the stars, lucky or unlucky. I believe that the day I was born, God gave me my ultimate mission. Not my destiny, for the others; It was a choice.

I grew up a normal child, just like most of us. I thanked God that my parents weren’t seperated or divorced, unlike the trend that seems to pop up everywhere. (OK, maybe on a few occassions, but they still get along ^^). I reminisced the time I grew up as a normal kid. We get spanked. We play with others. We learn. But by some degree, I did learn more.

I studied at a respectable school, (but if you can respect a school that OPs its students, yup it is), met friends and the like. I fell down the hierarchy of ‘knowledgable’ students, but I did learn a few more back at the bottom of the class. It’s not always the brainiacs who gets the first dibs on information, you know.

I’ve met friends from the bottom half of the world (the school world), and sad to say that is the reason why I’ve seen the world as a dirty place to live in. And yet, those that are the ’stupids’ have taught me the value of my life. As I see them, huff and puff their life away like it was a cigarette in hand, it told me of my choice. The future. If I should be an asshole and join them, or the seclude myself from the world, learning the environment by the ways of philosophy. My own. That is why I thank my english teacher for this. She taught me the value of reading, and my untapped ability to write.

Philosophy and writing. My two cents. I haven’t been able to include drawing and animation here, even though I am from fine arts, since I still have nothing to be proud of. But amidst my weakness, I strive at that college, again learning of the ways by means of observation. If I should graduate there, at least it’s because I persevered, but if I don’t, then I’ll just try again, to pursue my dream. Of making Itsuki, Yumi, Kazuki and Fiona, Itou, Yul, Tren and my own story come alive and be enjoyed by the world.

Of everything I have learned, I shall at least write it down for reference.

1. God is love.
2. On this world, there is no such a thing as love. It is an emotion copied from the original love given by God to us, and that is UNCONDITIONAL. Meanwhile, the love on this earth is purely physical and of the beings’ own fetish for one part of the other being. (Beauty, Brains, Brawn, Money, and all the other existensial aspects.) As such, I do not believe, in true love.
3. There are two instincts of the human mentality; constructive and destructive. We are naturally good, and can do better things not only for someone, but the entire human race. But we can’t deny, also, that we have the seed of destruction in all of us. We ravage everything around us without feeling guilt or anything. It is on the beings’ own choice what instinct to follow.
4. That there is no longer any hope for the human race. They are bound to destroy everything, because it is their choice of instinct.
5. That I will devote myself to be a guardian. That is, offering my life for the service of mankind, even though I know it would be fruitless. For that mission to be initiated, I must endure the loneliness of a thousand people, never to be loved by anyone around me. Only by detaching myself from humanity, can I become their servant.
6. That with God, anything I do is possible.

If I will love someone, I hope it is someone that will love me, without reason. For that, it’s because even if I lose a part of myself, physical or otherwise, she wouldn’t relieve her love for me. But as I see it, THERE IS NO SUCH PERSON IN THE WORLD. Alas, my mission goes on…

Why is it called FULL CIRCLE, you ask? As my father and mother, and all that extends to my line in the present, learned of their own experiences, it is now my time for my own. I live in the glory of the future, wondering how to pass my own knowledge to mankind. It is through the future, I leave with a fear for tomorrow, but at least a bit of hope for it.

I will list fourty things that I miss this valentines season.

1. Tahong nilalako.
2. Accretia Boards
3. My npc-sold Intense Beam Leg (4) : ((
4. Corndogs
5. My dead pups
6. My lola/s
7. I miss my lolo Uro.
8. Knick-knacks, ung chocolate fish.
9. My old house.
10. My Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Baseball Figurine.
11. Fiona, character ko sa manga ko.
12. Daniel … si kabayo.
13. Mapili.
14. Mga officers ng CAT namin.
15. CAT
16. My cat/s.
17. I really missed my gundam wing collection, kahit fake ^^.
18. My Ragnarok character, Dexcast. (Don’t worry, you live in SaviorGundam’s mind)
19. The days when I am bullied, kasi ako naman ngayon ang bully.
20. The days when gumagawa kami ng hideout sa damuhan, tapos sira na pagkatapos ng ilang oras.
21. My past memories, ay si Itsuki pala yun ^^.
22. WoWoW, hayup kang cable ka!!
23. WoWoW-2, HAYUP KA TALAGA!!
24. Animax ><.
25. BTX, ung may mechanical na kabayo.
26. Gameboy ko.
27. NES ko. (Nintendo Entertainment System.)
28. Jane Elizabeth Bitalac (kaso, nakakasabay ko naman siya sometimes ^^.)
29. John Lawrence Parane (bestfriend kuno : D )
30. Rifle no. 403
31. … Chocolate Milk, hindi ung Milk Chocolate (Confusing, not?)
32. The time when ang laro sa PC shop ay = P15.
33. Dried Mangoes.
34. The time when I don’t have to color inside the lines.
35. Super Book (cartoon)
36. Flying House (cartoon)
37. Shaider
38. Fiveman
39. El Hazard FOOF!!
40. I missed posting this gaddamn post this valentine season >,<.

(The following is an excerpt from Itou’s letter to himself, two years since he unconsciencely murdered his fiancee, Lady Kristille. He burried this letter in the manor where the killings took place, hoping that this letter would be hidden from the world. This is not for the weak of heart, because this letter contains graphic truths about the human nature.)

This I can say much. Mankind is selfish, no doubt. Only concerned with their image, wealth, the reason of their being; the human race only sees those that can benefit them as the things that only matter. This is not the only things that make them selfish, however. There is history to prove, once and for all, that the humans seek their own gratification of the flesh. The provocation of their existence will lead to the direst of consequences, each time using a more illogical reason than the last time. Everything, each thing that civilization built upon its frailest of canvasses, the medium they call "the blood of sacrifice, for the embetterment of mankind", amounts to nothing at all. The death of thousands of "sacrifices", just for the price they call freedom; peace; it only becomes the clink of the chain of slavery and injustice that the masters of the world impedes upon the people, locking them evermore into the gratitious prison of their own selves.

Only the human race, in all of the animals of the biological kingdom, has the capacity to destroy itself in its entirety. Their savage bestiality is the foremost, the greatest destruction factor the world has, even greater than natural catastrophes or animal instincts.The bees might kill themselves by leaving their stingers upon impact, but that is to protect the colony. Pandas might abandon the second child if it had a twin, but that is because it cannot support the second cub, and if it decides to, will only devoid the first of its nourishment, killing the cubs both. Humans, on the other hand, are the only cretins that have the gall to leave a cub for dead, only because they have finished having fun in sex with their partners. Uncaring towards their own kind, humans are the only ones that will lead their own world to destruction.

The irony of this nature is that, no one can be able to escape. I have tried, desperately, throughout my existence, to release myself from the human race, unnerved by their hatred, unmarred by their decisions. I failed. Kristille died in my hands, only so that I saw her being with another man. I never knew until the moment she died, where I understood that it was never her fault. She was pure in her love for me, and yet, I wasn’t able to silence, the human nature in me.

Until I can prove that the human nature may be silenced, this letter must yet be buried in Kristille’s ashes, never to be seen by the world.

This is the song that invoked a lot of tears, a song of longing through an endless war of the three races. You can never miss it, once you logged in to the one of greatest MMORPG’s of all time, one that put back the MM (Massively Multiplayer) in the MMORPG. Of course, this is RF Online, but this song, is titled, "the ONE."

For the video. > http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=5000504 The last video downwards.

The Lyrics:

"One"Lyrics From the RF Online Original Soundtrack

When, I saw you for the first timeI knew you were the one.You didn't say a word to me.But love, was in the air.

Then you held my handPulled me into your worldFrom then on my lifeHas changed for me

Now I'll never feel lonely againCoz you are in my life...

Love...How can I explain to youThe way I feel inside when I think of you..I thank you for everything that you showed me.Don't you ever forget that I love you.

Love, I know that someday real soonYou'll be right next to me.Holding me so tight.So I will always be yours.Although we can't be together now.Remember I am here for you.

And I know you're there for me.Whenever I want to be with youI just close my eyes and pretend you're nearI see you, I touch you, I feel you, like real

Nothing can ever change what I feel inside.

How long must I be far away from you?I don't know dear, but I know we are One...

Freedom is… Freedom is… As I look away from the life that I consider prison, I understand that I’ve reached something that is ethereal, yet fought for by millions of people for thousands of years. Freedom. I can consider myself free, because no one is there to tell me what to do. I control myself. I am… Destiny. Sin. Chaos. Infatuation. My own mind. Who in the blue hell thought that one is free? You all believe in destiny, bound to a fixed stationary being by what you deem as strings of your own. Freedom? Sin. We are all naturally good, and we never wanted the evil in us to happen, and yet, we succumb to its banal power. Freedom? Chaos. War. We strongly believe that protecting our country is the most valiant thing we could do for it, and what not to do, but destroy those that are our enemies. Then, what about of their own freedom? Where is the freedom in that, if we can’t even see the greater picture that is unfolding before our eyes? Infatuation. Sealing yourself in a state where you’ll blindly do anything for the one you ‘love.’ I almost can believe it is freedom, but what if that person doesn’t appreciate what what you are doing? What if, she’s only using you, in lack of terms? Do you so strongly believe you’re free if you can’t even move an inch when she is involved? How can you be free, if you can’t even set yourself free? Freedom is… Freedom is… I believe freedom is nothing more than being with the persons that believe in you. Yet bound to the chains, you are all nobody’s slave… Your life, sacrifice, everything that you have done, is only better off to those who can appreciate what you are doing. Freedom is nothing more than doing WHAT YOU CAN, not what you want.

Wala  nang pasok. I’m free!! Happy holidays!!

   Unbelievable. Just Unbelieveable. Ngayon pasko, hindi talaga ako maniniwala. We, the country of pure cultural intolerance, an accident of a democracy, with its older citizens never able to forgive our fellow asians, the Japanese, IPAPALABAS ANG GREAT TEACHER ONIZUKA SA TV?! SA HAPON!? UNBELIEVABLE!!

   Una sa lahat, sa mga uninitiated sa story ng anime/manga na ito, ito lang naman ang isa sa mga gusto kong mapanood na series. While all cartoons strive to degrade the personality that is the teacher’s image, eto lamang, at sa tana ng buhay ko, ang katangi-tanging animation series na ipanapakita kung gaano kaganda ang maging isang GURO. Na gangster. Na napariwara. Na nakita na gusto niyang maging guro, hindi lamang sa chicks, kundi dahil siya ay nabuhay para dito. Pure genius, just heartwarming, and to those who are overly conservative, THE MOST OFFENSIVE ANIME YOU’LL EVER SEE.

   Ano ngayon kung maganda ang story, sabi nila. Kung me bastos na part, eh di HENTAI na iyan, agad. Oh really?! Ang Aishite Imasu kaya, walang Yaoi parts? Ang Filipino Movie Industry ba, hindi nag pa succumb sa mga Porno flicks, tulad ng Itlog, Mani, Dapa, Tuwad, Hotdog at kung ano ano pang kabulastugang titles para lang makasurvive? Good morning, MTRCB. This is the twentyfirst century, and you can’t keep the Filipino youth in their cages anymore. We are developing minds faster than anything you’ve ever seen in your FRUITLESS, UNPRODUCTIVE, VENGEFUL, OVERLY DRAMATIC pathetic EXCUSE for an EXISTENCE.

   Wo0o0o0!!Basta para sa akin, astig si Teacher Onizuka. Tulad ng aking real life mentors. Kasi sila, may itinuturong maganda, tulad ng aking paboritong mga Manga/Anime series, di tulad ng MTRCB, na nagpropromote ng cultural negligence, hypocrisy, at severe attachment to traditions that has hampered the development of the young adults’ minds for over 50 years now. Thank you, God.